Proof that dieting is bad for your health

The Whiskas Diet

I've got 2 cats. So I bought a large bag of Whiskas Biscuits at the supermarket and was standing in line at the check-out, when the woman behind me asked if I had a cat.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again. I explained that it was essentially a perfect diet, the food is nutritionally complete, and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

It was so easy that I really wanted to have another go, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But I had lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my self clean when a truck ran over me.

You have been warned!