Sunday 5 August 2012

Dare to bare!

This post started out life as a personal rant in one of the Never Diet Again newsletters but I've been thinking about it a lot since then and so I decided to post it here too.

About a week ago, self-styled 'Etiquette Expert' and all-round stuffed shirt, William Hanson went on ITV's This Morning (a UK morning television show) to argue that women over 50 should not be allowed to wear bikinis. In fact, he added, women under 50 who didn't have great bodies should have the decency to cover up too. In the opposite corner, mature hottie Nancy Dell'Olio was arguing that you could be over 50 and still va-va-voom in a bikini. Click here to watch the old-before-his-time fuzzy cheeked Mr Hanson argue his side whilst squirming with embarrassment and trying not to look at Nancy's legs.

What pretty much everybody seemed to be missing was that if you want to wear a bikini, that is entirely your decision, and nobody else's business but yours. Whether you are tall or short, straight up and down or well-blessed with what my hubby calls Cuddle Padding, whether you are smooth as a baby's bottom or sporting a chest full of ginger curly hair, whoever you are and whatever you look like, if you would rather spend your day at the beach in a two piece, then that is your right.

Mr Hanson rehashed his ridiculous argument the next morning on a local radio station. If you feel like tearing your hair out, you can listen to the segment here - it starts around the 1 hour 17 minute mark. The man clearly has issues with his own body, and apparently thinks it only right that nobody else should be happy with theirs either. Or even if you are so deluded as to think you do look good in a bikini, he claims, if your attire makes anybody else feel uncomfortable, then you shouldn't do it. It's not polite. And he feels uncomfortable. And some people agree with him. So there.

I suppose he would argue that if people are uncomfortable with two men or two women holding hands on the beach (or anywhere else) then that shouldn't be done either. Actually, he seems the sort who would be just as uncomfortable seeing a public display of affection from a 'traditional' couple. What if people are uncomfortable seeing ethnic bodies at the beach, or mixed race couples, or people with scarring. Some people might be uncomfortable seeing a group of severely disabled children on a day trip to the seaside. Clearly these people should stay at home behind closed doors for the good of common decency and not have the temerity to spoil Mr Hanson's Big Day Out.

Of course, there's always the alternative. Look somewhere else. Or if you're that sensitive about seeing other people in less than head to toe cover up, don't go to the beach!

On a personal note, following my first year of HAES, this summer, for the first time ever, I have gone (gasp) sleeveless! Gone are the angst-ridden frustrating attempts to buy summer clothes with sleeves. To never purchase any item that doesn't come with a cover up. This year, clothes are just clothes, and I have dared to bare. And I finally understand why most summer clothes aren't made with sleeves. No, it's not a conspiracy against fat people. It's because in hot weather, it is more comfortable not to be covered up. Mr Hanson, who looked damned uncomfortable on that sofa, should try it sometimes. In fact, in the last couple of months I have been to the supermarket, to concerts, to dinner, and just gone about my daily business in sleeveless tops. And you know what? To date, not a single person has keeled over in horror at the sight of my upper arms. Who knew?

I'd like to leave you with the wise words of Mrs Avoirdupois on the two important steps you need to take to get a beach body.

Number one: have a body.
Number two: take it to the beach.

13 comments:

  1. YES!!! I agree with Madame Avoirdupois! Well put!!!

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    1. I have just had email confirmation from William Hanson himself, and it seems that he did really leave this comment. That's very sweet, and very encouraging. And it's nice that he's such a good sport. Hats off.

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    2. How great that perhaps your blog made him think more fully on the matter. I think it was well-written, and perhaps if he was as you suggest uncomfortable in his own skin, then maybe you've played a part in showing him that we're all human, and all deserving of respect regardless of size. It's a hard lesson to learn and direct towards oneself, after all! I know I struggle every day with giving myself permission to BE.

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  3. The most liberating thing I ever did for my body was to take it to our local clothing optional beach in 2003 and opt out of wearing clothes. Nobody stared. Nobody pointed and laughed. It was a sweltering hot day and I was grateful for the breeze that cooled the sweat off my body. I even walked - naked - from my spot on the beach to the water itself and took a dip. I learned a bunch of things that day: that being naked feels better than wearing a swimsuit on a beach because swimsuits are designed to help suck you in in some places and direct your eye to other places; being naked felt more liberating because my body was simply able to "be" and not have to look any way other than it did, naturally. Secondly, I learned that the clothing optional beach is full of people who simply want to enjoy the sun and surf. They're not interested in body surveillance or in going out of their way to make your day miserable. I had carried so much angst about my body around for so long and that day - it was the greatest gift I ever gave myself: permission to celebrate what I look like and not let myself miss an opportunity to do something new and fun. Now, I'm a regular at that beach every summer :)

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    1. That sounds absolutely awesome. I don't think we have those near Manchester (England), but one day...

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    2. That's fantastic Amy! I've done the same thing on an Optional Dress beach on the Great Ocean Road in Australia. I even went in again on a moonlit night and felt like a newborn babe swimming in that water. I was literally reborn!

      I can't stress enough how everyone owes themselves the pleasure of enjoying the beach. Be defiant!

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  4. OFFS. I can't believe this argument. It's obviously only aimed at one sex, since there's no mention of 90-year-old men, is there? Has it ever occurred to these people that some of us just wear whatever's available because we want to go swimming and enjoy the feel of the water, not because we intend to be decorative??? I swim 1,000 metres about 2 or 3 times a week, and my bathing suits disintegrate within about two months. I don't always have time to get exactly the suits I want and sometimes I just pop into a shop and get a top and bottom without trying them on.

    I even wrote a blog post about the topic of swimming and haven't posted it yet. Guess I won't have to.

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    1. Actually, he did mention men too in the interviews. But it's all basically f**ked up.

      And post away. Apparently you can never say this stuff often enough - people still need to hear it. Especially those who are still uncomfortable with their bodies and are too embarrassed to even go swimming and enjoying the feel of the water. And please send me the link if you do post. Ang :)

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    2. I can't believe he said it "wasn't polite" for women to wear whatever they damn well please! How "polite" is it to mouth off like he did?? I didn't want men staring at me when I was 25 and weighed 50 pounds less, but they still did. Why is this MY problem? Again? Just grrrrr.

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    3. btw, I've taken you up on your suggestion (and linked to your blog post).

      Here's the post:
      http://thedelphiad.wordpress.com/2012/08/07/swimming-as-an-act-of-radical-defiance/

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    4. Brilliant blog post thedelphiad. Will share will my 'tribe' :)

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